Originally posted on 24 May 1996
For those of you who have not heard, our dear Paul passed away at 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday, May 21. His dad was sitting beside him, holding his hand, when he stopped breathing.
I've just come from the service for Paul which was held for our immediate family. The Lakeside Mausoleum at Spring Grove Cemetery is a beautiful place and, thanks to Linda's excellent planning, everyone said the brief ceremony was wonderful. But, I just can't feel that Paul is gone. I keep thinking he will call, or that I must remember to tell him something I've just heard. Harold, Linda and I are very tired, but it's a good feeling because we were able to care for Paul at home. (Paul did not like hospitals!) We're so glad that we were here with him in his last hours. Linda was such a blessing to us. I really don't think I could have survived without her. Another angel!
All of your calls, cards and other kindnesses are so much appreciated. We'll never forget any of you!
We want all of you to mark your calendars for Saturday, June 1, at 3:00 p.m. This is the time set aside for a memorial service to celebrate Paul's life. The place is the Metropolitan Community Church at 65 East Hollister Street in Mt. Auburn. Dr. Mel White (whom we have spoken of many times in our newsletters) has said he "would be honored" to officiate. We plan to display much of Paul's photos and memorabilia at the church. We'll also have an opportunity after the ceremony to just chat and tell our favorite stories about Paul.
A private room at Murphy's Pub (corner of Warner and Clifton Ave.) has been reserved as a gathering place after the Memorial Service (around 8 p.m.). It will be a time to listen to Paul's music and remember. All of Paul's friends and family are invited.
A scholarship fund has been established in Paul's honor which will benefit Norwood High School students (Paul's Alma Mater). If desired, memorials may be made at the address on the Contact Page. Additional information is available on the News Page.
On Monday, a week before Paul died, his home-care nurse told us that he could pass away at any time. We called friends and relatives to come and see him and say goodbye. Paul was very aware of the fact that these were his final days. He asked me, Linda and Harold if it was OK for him to go and told us that he would always love us and would always be with us. As the week progressed, Paul struggled to be present with us but because of the influence of the morphine he gradually grew more distant. By Friday, we could understand little of what he said to us. On Saturday, he lapsed into a coma and did not speak to us again. Each night during that long week we thought we would lose him. He was amazingly strong.
Throughout the week, we played music for Paul--"A God That Can Dance," and in particular, "Breath of Life," also Jimmie Spheeris' CD that Paul put together of Jimmie's renditions of favorite songs. Tim Story, Seal and Enya were also played. We thought Jimmie's voice and music in particular would be soothing and comforting to Paul. On Tuesday morning, the day of Paul's death, he became very agitated, though not coherent. We gave him medication to calm him and then played Jimmie's CD once again. The first song on the CD is the Moody Blues' "Tuesday Afternoon." The lyrics struck both me and Linda as significant and a sure sign that Jimmie was calling Paul and that he would leave us that day.
Something calls to me
I'm looking at myself
I'm just beginning to see